How to stop back talking - do you have that challenge in your family? Chances are you do if you've had kids longer than 5 minutes!
As a longtime parent myself (nearly 30 years), I've seen my fair share of back talking. Frankly, other than pockets of smart mouthing, we've never had a major problem. I honestly think that is due to a couple of factors we've never let out of our sight.
1. Respect is king in our home. Period.
That means that my husband and I have tried to cultivate an environment of respect in our home. We intentionally focus on the level of respect that gets displayed day in and day out. Are we perfect? Heck, no. But we are intentional about how to stop back talking and in establishing respect and our kids know that because we say so out loud. A lot.
For example, we have always told our kids that we want to hear their opinions and frustrations. Always. But only if they can communicate them respectfully. So when something like back talking comes up, it immediately trips the filter of disrespect and gets our undivided attention. Which brings us to the next point.
2. Back talk gets handled on the spot.
This would be my number one suggestion for how to stop back talking - stand up against it immediately. Calmly and firmly stop the conversation and say something like "hey, that's not how you talk to me or anyone else. Are you clear on that now?" And I require a positive response. Why? Because then the child takes ownership of the decision to talk respectfully.
Obviously this works best in a culture of ongoing respect and that's why if you're dealing with ongoing back talk, you have to fix a larger problem than just smart mouthing. Take a look at the climate of respectfulness in your home and start making intentional changes. It will take time, but it will have an effect on many areas of your family.
As a longtime parent myself (nearly 30 years), I've seen my fair share of back talking. Frankly, other than pockets of smart mouthing, we've never had a major problem. I honestly think that is due to a couple of factors we've never let out of our sight.
1. Respect is king in our home. Period.
That means that my husband and I have tried to cultivate an environment of respect in our home. We intentionally focus on the level of respect that gets displayed day in and day out. Are we perfect? Heck, no. But we are intentional about how to stop back talking and in establishing respect and our kids know that because we say so out loud. A lot.
For example, we have always told our kids that we want to hear their opinions and frustrations. Always. But only if they can communicate them respectfully. So when something like back talking comes up, it immediately trips the filter of disrespect and gets our undivided attention. Which brings us to the next point.
2. Back talk gets handled on the spot.
This would be my number one suggestion for how to stop back talking - stand up against it immediately. Calmly and firmly stop the conversation and say something like "hey, that's not how you talk to me or anyone else. Are you clear on that now?" And I require a positive response. Why? Because then the child takes ownership of the decision to talk respectfully.
Obviously this works best in a culture of ongoing respect and that's why if you're dealing with ongoing back talk, you have to fix a larger problem than just smart mouthing. Take a look at the climate of respectfulness in your home and start making intentional changes. It will take time, but it will have an effect on many areas of your family.
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